At the moment I have a couple of areas where I’m receiving regular critique. (Not including parenting where my kids give me daily feedback!) Receiving critique can be painful! However much we pretend we like it, and know it’s helpful, it’s still an ouch moment!

When it comes to writing, giving your work to someone to read is a moment filled with trepidation! You spent a long time putting together a story and you have no idea how it’s going to be received, but in the mind of the writer ‘it’s the perfect novel’! Until you get feedback!

The way I’ve learnt to handle feedback is to start by allowing myself to get emotional about it! I’m a crier! I may shed a few tears, mourn what I thought it was! Then after a couple of days, (it used to be a couple of weeks!), I reread it and react.

My writing partner Sophie reminds me feedback can be put into three categories, accept, adapt or ignore. The initial temptation can be to ignore it all! Maybe they just didn’t get it! Or accept it all, decide you’re no good and give up! But usually there’s a little bit of each.

Accepting means making the change they suggest. Adapt can mean understanding their meaning but not taking their solution. A lot of feedback falls into this category. Sometimes it’s a case of the reader or hearer not understanding where you’re trying to get to and so their solution doesn’t fit, or what they’ve pointed out is a minor issue but actually points to something bigger that needs fixing. Painful!

Finally, ignore, I’m very careful with this one and only ignore if I know it’s not correct. For example it could be that someone has struggled with something that others haven’t or it could be that a more experienced eye or ear is able to help you dismiss it. But be careful with this one!

Overall I would say that it’s so important to receive critique, it keeps you humble! Be careful who you ask, you don’t want only people who are going to tell you how amazing you are but equally you don’t want anyone who is going to shatter your confidence entirely!

Critique will challenge you but ultimately, if you let it, make you better at whatever it is you’re doing. Embrace the pain, allow yourself to be upset but wait to respond!