Now we have a diagnosis, the real work begins. I’ve researched and done training in sensory parenting and watch dozen’s of YouTube Video’s.

You might have read our story and recognise your own in some of the things I’ve shared. Don’t panic, some of the most gifted entrepreneurs who have ever lived have had ASD. There are some really fantastic positives to this way of thinking. Here’s a great video that busts some myths about autism. Ten things you should know about autism.

The most helpful YouTuber on the subject of Autism is Tony Attwood. He has some really helpful information particularly on ‘Girls with Autism’ and why this is such an undiagnosed group.

One of his most useful tips is in trying to help identify emotions. He suggests to find a special interest of theirs and use that to help. For our daughter, she loves the Harry Potter stories, so when something happens, good or bad, we’ll ask her which bit of the story it reminds her of. That then gives us an idea of where she’s at.

A big concern that Tony Atwood raises for girls with ASD or Asperger’s is poor mental health and vulnerability to abuse. Sean and I have talked about this a lot and it’s definitely a concern of ours. But as this is a difficult subject to talk about with a teenager who doesn’t like to talk about these things, we’ve found the best way to to do it through story.

I spend about an hour most nights reading to her. We have been through the Harry Potter series twice and the Hunger games. In both these books there are lots of relationships to analyse and ask – ‘Why do you think he/she did that?’ ‘Is he/she really being kind or just pretending?’ ‘How would you do it differently?’

This isn’t perfect, we’re still learning on this journey, but our main aim to try to keep lines of communication open. We talk about the fact that we don’t keep secrets from each other because they are often negative but we do have surprises and they’re fun! A useful distinction.

Another struggle for those with ASD can be around eating. Typically food would need to be beige in colour to be accepted, not always and not for our daughter. Taste falls into the sensory category and there can be a range from hyper (high) sensitivity to hypo (low) sensitivity. This means it either has to have no flavour or lots! For us it needs to have lots. Our approach has been to try to get flavourful food that isn’t full of additives and sugars. When she was little I would bake cheese scones with a bit of cayenne pepper in! It helps that I enjoy to cook as it means we have a lot of variety but I will always signpost what we’re eating for the week.

Sensory issues whether hyper or hypo affect every sense, taste, hearing, sight, smell and touch. There are two others, these are, proprioception and introception. There’s so much to say on the issue of sensory awareness so I’ll write about that next week.

But going back to food, the important thing is that we help her to eat something and educate about healthy eating and by sometimes standing our ground about some foods that are off limits. This is tough and we have an issue of hoarding and hiding food, apparently common, even with all this though we feel blessed to have a daughter who is willing, on the whole to try new foods.

There are so many helpful books, TED talks and YouTube videos that will help you in your journey to learn more. I mentioned in a previous blog about a BBC documentary called ‘Our Family and Autism’ which is so helpful when it comes to coping with a diagnosis whether that’s for a child or as an adult. This website -> https://thegirlwiththecurlyhair.co.uk/ is really helpful and has loads of links to learn more.

As I said earlier, next week I will focus on Sensory Processing and all that we’ve learnt in that area. I hope sharing all this has been helpful, if you have any questions or other links that may be helpful please put them in the comments.