When Sean was turning 40, we made all kinds of plans to have family and friends over. It was going to be great fun. We had family come over and he had his presents from them. As the day wore on, he was feeling a bit under the weather. The next day, after family had left, Sean had a fever and as we were still in the Covid season, it made sense for him to do a test before we had any guests over. Unfortunately, it was covid! So all our plans had to be cancelled, and we were going to be homebound for a few days.

I’m not one for sitting around doing nothing. I felt fine and so I got started on a job we’d been avoiding! The drains! We had noticed the drain in our garden seemed to be backing up. So we followed the drain line to the next manhole cover, we lifted it to discover it was full to the brim with floaters of many varieties! Disgusting!

Our drive is on a hill, so we walked down to the bottom, opened that cover and it was dry as a bone. So I went on Amazon and ordered some drain rods for next-day delivery, closed the manhole covers and waited for the rods to arrive.

Fast forward to the next day, Sean’s birthday. Thankfully, he was now feeling much better, just a mild cold. The rods arrived, they extended about ten metres when all connected. I was looking forward to getting this sorted and so I opened up the man hole cover at the bottom of the drive and fed the rods through. I ended up lying on my front leaning into the man hole reaching to push them up as far as they would go but didn’t feel any resistance. Not long enough.

Never to be deterred from a mission, I scoured our shed for something to make the poles longer. I found a crowbar which I then taped to the end of the rods. Now, at a stretch, I could just about feel the point of resistance. But still, it wasn’t quite long enough. There was nothing else in the shed I could use, so still determined, I searched the house for something to add to my rods! My eyes lighted on Tom’s retractable light sabers! I took one of the red ones, the dark side, it was definitely a job for the baddies!

Back out by the man hole cover, I taped the light-saber to the crowbar, then taped all the retractable parts of the lightsaber. At this point, Sean came out, shaking his head at my contraption! But I was confident. I lay back down on the ground and reached into the hole, holding the handle of the lightsaber! Finally, I could feel the resistance and so started to shove with all my might. Nothing happened. I tried again. Nothing.

I looked up at Sean standing with his hands on his hips, shaking his head. “Do we really have to do this today?” Perfectly reasonable question. It was his birthday after all! Next question was, “What do think is going to happen when you release the flow! Your face is pretty much in the hole!”

I reassured him that I could do it, I’d be able to jump up in time! So I continued to try to clear the blockage. Eventually, with a sigh, Sean indicated with his head that I should get out of the way! He grasped the lightsaber handle, lay in my place, and gave an almighty thud.

There was a gulping sound and Sean leapt up, all of us screaming as the brown tsunami gulged to freedom. Sean retracted the rods with impressive speed as the flood of our families excrement made its way down the hill. The speed it came at was quite shocking. We all took a step back as the hole filled with …. well, you can imagine! Fortunately, it then moved into the main drain and didn’t splat anyone in the face, or anywhere else (Sean’s big fear)!

You’d think that would be the end of the story, but Sean then had to clean the rods before putting them away! Not his favourite birthday story, but one that always makes us laugh!