Family

Routine is King!

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As we’ve had to throw out our usual routine due to self isolation, we have become again aware of how necessary routine is in our lives! Not just because we have a child with ASD but for everyone’s sanity!

I’ve mentioned before how, when I write, I’m a planner but it actually carries across most of life. I like some spontaneity, not too much though! One of the hardest birthdays was before I was married, Sean and my housemate organised a surprise party for me. I couldn’t enjoy the party because all my plans had been thrown out!

Sometimes I wonder how helpful being a planner is, but parenting a child with ASD has made it a gift. We reduce anxiety by creating a plan and where there is a change we ensure as much notice as possible, or we will warn if there is a possible change. It’s impossible to remove all anxiety from life and if we did we wouldn’t prepare our kids for the real world, but having some structure teaches them some disciplines for the future.

Things we do include writing out a meal plan. This helps as food is big in our home! It also helps with making a shopping list. I get the kids to give some input and if I’m making a meal I know they don’t like I’ll plan a pudding they love!

We like having guests to dinner so we plan certain evenings when they will come. I can then set expectations, letting them know if there will be kids they can play with or whether they will need to let the adults talk while they entertain themselves. (So you can imagine isolation has been tough! Every day the same question “Who’s coming for dinner?” Everyday the same answer “No one!”)

As we’re heading into school holidays I will make play dates and try to mix up who we see so that each of the kids has someone their age. We plan walks, garden days, beach days, baking days and maybe a TV day!

We have a ten day camping trip planned and the kids know each day there is the same! We may have a water fight one day, I take my oldest daughter to look around the charity shops and another day a BBQ. But everyday, there’s the park, the woods and a walk. (Every year we come home with stories and I’m sure at some point there will be a post with the funniest!)

So routine may be hard work to put together at times but I know that for our family it brings such a helpful structure and a sense of stability. Whether or not you have a child with additional needs, the boundaries and routines we set for them give them security. Don’t be a slave to your routine but at the same time if you don’t plan in fun it won’t happen! That includes cooking something interesting for dinner!

Rest

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This week coming I have time off. I’m so looking forward to having a rest. But it’s made me ask the question ‘What is rest?’.

I’ve realised the answer is different for everyone and different in every season of life. For Sean, it’s playing his guitar and getting out his loop pedal! Or lighting the BBQ and cooking some meat. We all get to enjoy that one!

For me it’s books and sunshine! I haven’t had much time to read just for fun recently and so that’s what I’m looking forward to.

I’ve listened to some teaching on slowing down and it makes me realise how busy we are as a society. We wear our busyness as a badge of honour. We try to out do one another with how much we’re doing. No one’s boasting about the really good day off they had!

Rest is vastly under estimated and under appreciated! Rest isn’t only found in staring at a TV screen. The best rest is found in the things that give you life and energy.

So that’s what I’m dedicating this week to. Everything that helps me to take a deep breath and pause. I’m throwing comparison out of the window and embracing doing whatever so can to give life not just to me but to the kids as well.

Fresh air, food and friends! And most importantly books!

A great book on this subject is ‘In Praise of Slow’ by Karl Honore or ‘Three Mile an Hour God’ by Kosuke Koyama.

The Birthday Boy wants a Croque en Bouche!

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This week has been my youngest’s 7th birthday. It feels quite a milestone as my oldest was 7 when the youngest was born. I have loved being a mum, everyone used to say to me how fast it goes. I would smile, exhausted, surrounded by toddlers and dreaming of a full nights sleep, believing them but at the same feel time wondering if it would ever end!

But it has definitely gotten easier in a lot of ways. Although the learning curve with each new age and season still feels steep, (we’ve had to apologise many times to our oldest who has been our parenting guinea pig!) I wouldn’t give up this opportunity to be stretched in every area!

So back to my, not so baby, baby boy! He asked for a croque en bouche for his birthday cake! Which is basically a tower of profiteroles! It sounds far more impressive than it actually is! But I thought I would share the recipe I used so you can have a go yourself!

Ingredients

Choux pastry

  • 120g Butter – cubed (I use salted butter but unsalted would be fine)
  • 300ml Water
  • 150g Plain Flour
  • 4 Eggs – lightly beaten

Custard

  • 600ml Milk (I used Semi-skimmed)
  • 60g Cornflour
  • 150g Caster Sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract

To make the Choux Pastry. Put the butter and water into a saucepan and heat until the butter melts then bring to the boil. (It’s important that you wait for it to bubble). Remove from the heat and add the flour. Stir vigorously until the mixture forms a soft ball. Leave to cool slightly, then gradually add the eggs, beating well between each addition, to form a smooth, shiny paste. (You’ll also have an aching arm! Or you can cheat as I did this time and use a freestanding mixer with the metal ‘K’ beater!)

Grease a baking tray. Use 2 teaspoons to create little balls with the choux pastry dough, put them on the tray, ensure you leave at least 1cm either side of them, and brush with beaten egg. (Before you brush with the egg I always try to make them look a bit rounder by wetting my fingers and dabbing the points smooth.) Sprinkle the tray with water (this will create steam in the oven which will help them to rise). They will look small but trust me they grow. You could also pipe them onto the tray but I haven’t been doing this as it’s more work! This recipe will probably make two or three trays worth of profiteroles so half it if you don’t need that many.

Bake in a preheated oven at 220˚C for 10 minutes then bake at 190˚C for a further 20 minutes. Leave them to cool on a wire rack. Poke a hole in each as they cool so the steam can escape.

Make the crème patisserie by whisking together the Cornflour, Sugar and Egg Yolks until smooth.

Heat the milk with the vanilla until almost boiling. Pour a little of the hot milk into the egg mixture and whisk it in, gradually add the rest of the milk, then pour it all back into the saucepan and whisk it on a low heat until it thickens. This can happen quite quickly so you need to watch it carefully and whisk continuously.

Sieve it into a bowl or jug to cool (sieving it also cools it quicker and stops it cooking to much more). Make sure to lay either baking paper or cling film over the top to ensure you don’t get a skin.

Make a hole in each of the profiteroles and, using a piping bag, pipe the cold crème patisserie inside each profiterole. (I buy reusable piping bags which you can pick up quite cheaply, I get mine from Wilkinson but I know that Lakeland sell them too). Or if you don’t have a piping bag cut the top off the profiterole and spoon in the custard.

Finally add your topping, whether that’s melted dark chocolate or white chocolate. You can spread it on or drizzle it over them.

If I know I’m making profiteroles I will often make the custard the day before so that it’s really cold before I start to pipe it but you can do it on the day as well.

For the fillings and toppings the ingredients change. This time I did three different types. One was an orange for which I used the zest of one orange which I added to the custard and then topped with dark chocolate. The second was Raspberry and white chocolate, for which I used the vanilla custard and popped a raspberry in the middle of each of the custard then topped with white chocolate. For the last type I did plain vanilla custard with a mixture of the white and dark chocolate for the topping.

A long post this week. But I’d love to know how you get on if you give this a go and maybe that can be the next birthday cake!