I’ve been quiet on my blog these last few months because we had an unexpected loss. On the 18th May, my lovely dad went to bed and on the 19th, he didn’t wake up. Since then, it’s been a journey of navigating grief at a whole new level. When thinking of posting here, I wanted to start with telling you about this special man I had the privilege of calling Dad.

One thing to know about my Dad, is that he was fastidious about being on time and would rather be half an hour early than one minute late. It feels as though God understood this and so has taken him home early, before we were ready, but just right for him. 

Dad was born and raised in Guildford with his parents and sister, Angela. He had a happy childhood and loved his family very much. In his late teens, he unexpectedly lost his eyesight due to a blood disorder. Which meant an end to his motorbike loving lifestyle. For months, he travelled to and from the hospital while they tried to work out what was wrong. His family were so supportive and his older sister Angela, in particular, he mentioned with fondness during this difficult time. But he didn’t allow his disability to stop him. He married my mum, Jean, at 24 and then had my sister and I, his girls, over the following years. 

There were many highs and lows and one particular low was in 1990, our family had been made homeless and we had been temporarily housed in Lancing. We were invited to visit Grace Church, and it was here that Dad made a decision that changed his life. He gave his life to Jesus and devoted himself to learning about God.

From then on, his life was one of devotion. He volunteered at an audio production service and travelled there every day by train. Of course, he would be sure to be there at least an hour before he started! He loved his job and working with his best friend. Even when he retired, he kept up his friendship and learnt to play piano with his best friend’s wife, who did an incredible job helping him to learn by ear. Even passing exams, an achievement he was so proud of. 

I know he loved us girls, but he would have loved to have sons, which is why he was so pleased when we were both married and he had sons-in-law! He gave fantastic speeches at both weddings with no notes, just from memory. He’s been a great granddad to his seven grandchildren, willing to play games with them even when it’s been a struggle for him to see what’s happening. He would love to play catch with the kids and caused great hilarity when getting shocked at catching the ball! Often using his catchphrase of ‘Oh dear me no!’

In his retirement, he didn’t slow down. He volunteered at the food bank and anywhere else he could be useful. He was often concerned that he was in the way without realising that his presence alone was an encouragement! 

Being a member of a local church was really important for Dad and so for many years he would travel to Worthing to be a part of Redeemer, where he made some incredible friends who meant an awful lot to him. Then when the travelling got to be too much, he moved to join Lancing Tab, where he has made a whole new group of friends and has thrown himself into community life. I don’t doubt he’s missed by his church family.  

He learnt new technology and taught himself how to use an iPad and iPhone, meaning he could take part in meetings during lockdown and had weekly FaceTime chats with me. Even if some weeks it was a conversation with his forehead!

Apart from all these facts, my Dad was one of the kindest and most generous men I’ve ever known. He wouldn’t hesitate to help anyone who was in need and hated to ask for help himself. He had struggled with his health over the past few years, but even when he was down, he would cling to the hope of the gospel. He didn’t lose faith, but knew he was going to a better place.

Our whole family will cherish our memories of Dad. He’s been a devoted grandad to his grandchildren. Always ready to play games with them. Whether that was chess, catch, or the Sock Game.  What an incredible man he was. He taught me how to have a good work ethic, how to persevere no matter what, how to forgive and how to live life to the full. 

I love you dad and will never forget all that you taught us and the way that you lived and loved.